What is 'Creativity'?

It's 2:21am. I just walked in the apartment from a late night in the studio and had the most unexpectedly thought provoking conversation with Robert, my Lyft driver (kinda like Uber, but cheaper) for the night.  I walked out of the studio at 1am got in the car and he asked me if I was leaving work.  I said, "Yeah, kind of" half paying attention and half preparing my mind for the hour-long ride from Newark to Brooklyn.  It's still a little weird to think of art as "work."  I told him I was an artist and my studio was in the building which I had just left, so technically I was working - I guess.  For the next hour, we began to talk to about everything from Abstract Expressionism to Bob Dylan.  Robert is a musician and his son shows a talent for visual art - much like my father and me.

During our conversation, there were a couple points that struck a chord worth capturing before turning out the lights for the night:

Creativity is an interesting phenomenon.  What is it?  Why do we call people "creative"?  What does that mean?  People seem to have a fascination with the idea of creation.  Perhaps that is why the debate around The Creation vs. The Big Bang or Adam and Eve vs. Evolution has been such a persistent one throughout the years.  How is something as intricate as the human body or as vast as the universe created? We will probably never fully know.  But the closest we can get is through our own individual ability to create.  In the spirit of James Weldon Johnson's poem "The Creation," I will never know what God felt when he "stepped out on space...and said 'I'm lonely - I'll make me a world."  But I do know what it is like to have nothing but a vision and an empty canvas - highly concentrated creative energy, waiting to be released onto a surface void of form or color.  Musicians, sculptors, writers - can relate I'm sure.  When you sit back and think, the process of starting with nothing and creating 'something' is really an amazing one, perhaps the closest we will ever get to fully understanding God.  It makes me wonder though - are only some people gifted with creativity or do we all possess the gift and some are just more tuned-in than others?  I'm inclined to believe the latter.

"The Creation" - the first painting in the seven-piece God's Trombones series.

This leads me to the second realization sparked by Robert - maybe we have misinterpreted what "purpose" really is.  I hear the term "purpose" a lot - "purpose driven life", "operating in your purpose", "finding your purpose", etc.  It often feels like an elusive metaphysical thing which only an enlightened few with the capital to take life-risks actually ever discover (i.e. Oprah).  In other conversations, it seems to be defined as a personal mission statement or one's perfect job description. Not saying any or all of those are wrong, but maybe it's not that complicated.  As I sat in the back of Robert's Honda, I started to think maybe our purpose is simply to use our individual gifts and talents in the way they were intended.  When i'm painting I feel there is a 'purpose' for what i'm doing.  I'm not necessarily trying to solve world hunger or touch the masses, but it feels like what i should be doing at that time.

I imagine trying to nail a board to a wall with a screwdriver, or turn a screw with a hammer.  Both are possible (I suppose), but the results and effort required to do so are less than ideal.  But when you use the screwdriver in the way it was designed, to turn a screw, it works much better.  It consumes energy to produce positive results - consistently.  It is being used according to its purpose.  In the same way, maybe purpose for us is not a job description but simply a state of being - how we use the energy we consume.  If am channeling my energy through my gifts, than as a result what i produce is within my purpose, no? 

Amazing what you talk about between Newark and Bed-Stuy at 2 in the morning...

Late-Night Studio Session

Wrapping up a late night studio session working on "The Prodigal Son", one of the seven pieces in the God's Trombones series.  I haven't written a blog post in nearly a month but it was necessary for me to fully immerse myself in the process of getting inspired.  It is so easy to get wrapped up in routines which ultimately defeat the purpose of the activity itself.  I didn't want to write simply to write.  I spent the majority of August clearing my head, sourcing inspiration from music, museums, books, conversations, and my environment - building my vision for the pieces in the series.

The pressure to produce is ever-present, but allowing yourself time to receive and develop the vision is imperative - especially with art.   I will sometimes do 15 sketches before I land on something that inspires me to paint.  As i've reflected on key lessons learned in the first month of my sabbatical, this is a big one.  You can't rush creativity - it is a function of inspiration, which you can promote, but cannot predict.

While in Jamaica visiting family, I read James Weldon Johnson's Autobiography of an Ex-Colored Man.  In reading the fictional account of a bi-racial man exploring matters of race, I was able to draw inspiration from imagery used to describe speakeasy-like bars of early 1900s New York City.  I believe the images Johnson used in 1912 to set the scene in Autobiography are the same ones which filled his mind while describing 'Babylon' in his poem "The Prodigal Son".   "The Prodigal Son," written in 1927, re-imagines the well-known biblical parable where a young man squanders his inheritance to go do 'wordly' things.  Johnson names this place of sin 'Babylon' (a nod to Caribbean culture) though the imagery suggests a more modern context with brass bands, gambling dens, and women in yellow, purple, and scarlet dresses.

For each piece in the series, I intend to re-tell Johnson's poems through mainly color and texture.  Though I could take a literal interpretation and paint the scenes which he describes in a realist manner, I feel that would be too cliche and rob the viewer of the beauty in Johnson's poetry.  Poetry is a montage of images, colors, words, and feelings that are left open to the interpretation and unique perspective of the reader.  I want to maintain this same degree of abstraction in my paintings.  For instance, instead of a woman in a scarlet dress - I might paint a rich, satiny, scarlet block of color with a feminine curve.

Wood-grain study for "The Prodigal Son" and "Noah Built The Ark" painting from God's Trombones series.

I've painted several studies for the series and have been experimenting with different effects and textures.  One that I am most excited about is creating a wood grain texture using just acrylic paint on canvas (see image above).  I'm constantly learning and studying how to use a paintbrush to make the eye see what you want it to see.  While painting, I often mentally and emotionally detach myself from the piece in order to view it as an objective viewer.  I like to get lost in the colors and stare at the canvas (sometimes for hours) to see what I may not have seen before.  This helps me make sure that I am fully appreciating all dimensions of the painting and not compromising the natural depth that is often created subconsciously.

Day 1

Sitting here listening to Duke Ellington on vinyl and today is Day 1 of a 3-month journey.  For those who are not aware, I decided to take a 3-month sabbatical from work to focus on my art and more specifically a seven-piece painting series commissioned by the James Weldon Johnson literary estate.  Like most people who started working immediately after college, in the seven years I have been a full-time employee, I have never taken more than 10 days off at a time.  The idea of 3-months off is totally foreign to my brain, and to be honest, I can't really comprehend it right now.  

When I return to work, it will be November 1st... the weather will be different, the leaves will have changed, and I'm sure things at work will have changed as well.  Someone I know will have left the firm, someone I don't will have joined, and inevitably someone will probably be sitting in my seat and messing up the Feng Shui of my desk.  Change is inevitable.  But more importantly, by November - I will have changed.  I am very aware of what it is like to be fully dedicated to my "left brain" - as a mechanical engineer by training who works in finance.  Honestly, every day is a left brain day.  Even the way I approach relationships nowadays is very left-brained in nature - analyzing personalities, computing the risks of being disappointed, etc.  Over the last 30 years, I'm quite sure my rebellious right brain was beaten into submission by my more socially acceptable left brain and the many influences that told me being a creative is somehow unrealistic.  This will be my first time as an adult (or maybe just ever) dedicating myself to a right brain existence.  What does that look like?  I have no idea.

How did this happen?  As one of many closet artists who was probably born with equal parts analytical and creative - how did I get to this place of imbalance?  What would my 10 year-old self say to my 30 year-old self?  I think he (10 year-old Dan) would be disappointed.  He never believed in being boxed in, having one career, one talent, or even one idea of success.  He wanted to be and do everything he  possibly could because he believed if he put enough effort into it, he would ultimately be great at it.  He viewed himself as an emerging artist, musician, engineer, and heir to the throne of "His Airness" - Sir Michael Jordan.  Unfortunately my genes ruled out the last one, but I think the others are still in there somewhere.  I think I gave up on creativity when I went to college.  I was so focused on achieving, memorizing the 1st Law of Thermodynamics, and trying to land a high-paying job that I lost touch with a major part of what made me unique.  I'm glad that over the last few years, I've started to find it again, but it would seem this is only the beginning of that journey.

And so here I am on the first day of a 3-month leave and you would expect that I am excited or relieved to not have to be at work - but I'm not.  I actually feel anxious.  I feel like a fish out of water - where is my routine? Where are the daily tasks that make me feel productive?  Where is my calendar full of meetings that help me manage my time?  Being off of work isn't as exciting when you don't actually have to go back any time soon - imagine that.  It always takes me a while to switch over to "artist mode" during long weekends - it seems this time is no different.  So in the meantime, I'll do what I know to do -  listen to music.  It always seems to do the trick.  Duke seemed to get it.  Who names their ensemble the "Spacemen" anyway, unless they are a real unapologetic right-brained kinda guy.  Maybe he will impart some wisdom to me.